How to Stop Caring About Other People’s Opinions

How to stop pleasing people all the time? How to get out of this trap of constantly seeking approval? How to stop caring about other people’s opinions too much?

In my case I started pleasing people because many years ago some of my “friends” repeatedly told me that I was not good enough. I was still a teenager, and those “friends” were kind of important to me at that time, so I was very sensitive to what they say about me. And I think, at some point I believed those words, and since then I was trying to please those people and prove them that I was OK.

But no matter how hard I tried, to them I was always wrong and not good enough. So, you get into this loop of constantly seeking approval, and after some time it becomes your way of thinking, your lifestyle.

It’s natural to feel different emotions.

Most people are sensitive to other people’s words. In reality it’s not easy to not pay attention to what other people say. It is natural and normal to feel different emotions when other people say something about us. But there is a big difference between our emotions and our decisions.

In this post we will discuss how to stop caring about other people’s opinion and pleasing people all the time. People will keep saying what they think, but we can’t be led by their judgements and can’t depend on their approval. We need to love and respect ourselves.
 Because the only way how to stop caring about other people’s opinion is to start caring about your own opinion.



Let me share some tips that helped me to stop being a people pleaser. 



Tip # 1. Keep our emotions and decisions separated (how to stop caring about other people’s opinions).

Don’t allow your emotions to dictate your decisions, because emotions will pass, but decisions and their consequences will last. If you feel you are overwhelmed by emotions – STOP. Don’t make any decisions or important actions at this point. Wait until you calm down, then think about this again, maybe you will get something positive out of this, maybe you will get some fresh view. And when you are ready – make your decision based on the reasonable arguments, not emotions. And if people disagree – it’s their right and their problem, because you have your own opinion.



Tip # 2. Develop your confidence.

If you are not born superhero, you need to work your confidence out. Confidence is a skill, it can be created and improved. We tend to be dependent on other people’s acknowledgement – if other people say we are good – we feel good. If other people say we are bad – we feel bad. But this is not how it is supposed to work. You need to find confidence within yourself. There are many ways to develop your confidence – I will probably record a separate video on this topic. But the fact is this: the more confident you are, the more you are resistant to what other people think about you.



Tip # 3. Separate the constructive criticism from the negative criticism.

If people criticize you to tear you down and there is nothing positive in that – just ignore it. Mean people say mean things because it’s their nature, it’s their problem, not yours. They want to tear you down, but it’s not gonna happen, because you will stay strong. On the other side, if someone is telling you constructive critics, maybe you should listen to the arguments. I am not saying you need to do what they say, but you can take their arguments into your consideration.

Constructive criticism means that someone disagrees with you not because he wants you down, but because he has a different opinion. It might still be wrong. If the criticism is constructive, it doesn’t mean it’s correct, it just means it’s sincere, it comes from the good intentions. We also need to understand that constructive criticism can be mixed with negative emotions, and negative criticism might include something constructive. Anyways, you will need to make your decision. If after all considerations you still believe that you are right – then do what you think is right.



Tip # 4. Listen to the competence and ask right people for advice (how to stop caring about other people’s opinions).

Let’s say, if I need to make a decision about investments – I need to ask people who are competent in investments. My neighbor might have some opinion too, and he is a good man, but I know he has no clue in this particular subject 🙂 Or for example I am thinking of starting a YouTube channel – I read thousand articles, watched thousand videos, spent few weeks on planning, and then I ask my friend for advice. And my friend wasn’t thinking about YouTube at all, he doesn’t even know that it is possible to monetize YouTube videos. What advice can he give me? From his perspective it’s a waste of time. You see the point? I was thinking about something for weeks and I am asking for advice from the person who has never thought about this at all.

It is very likely that his spontaneous feedback will be negative, and it might discourage me. Ask people who know something about the subject, and ignore other opinions.



Tip # 5. Realize that other people don’t think about you very often.

They don’t have time for that, because they are busy with their own staff. Even if I go to Television and embarrass myself – tomorrow nobody will remember, because other news will take people’s attention. If those people don’t care and easily forget about me, then why should I worry about what they think? They are not my close friends or family, they are strangers, so I don’t care about what they say.

There is no point in trying to impress people we don’t even like.

I am 100% sure that if we learn to love ourselves, respect ourselves and care about our own opinion, we will be happier and stronger, and we will accomplish much more. I hope this helps, if so – let me know in the comments. Let’s stay in touch!